Surreal Tumblr Themes

usbport:

I respect bees more than I respect white men in positions of power

koujakus-boyfriend:

sossidge:

me 11:59 September 30th

image

me 12:00 October 1st

image

it’s not even october and 90% of tumblr is like the second gif

itspartyrehab:

Skittles Vodka.

Ingredients & Measurements:
1 large bag of Skittles
70 cl. cheapest vodka
Instructions:When making Skittles Vodka you can choose to either use all five of the flavours or to buy several bags of Skittles and separate the flavours or even mix two or three of the flavours to create your own taste. Once you have chosen your flavours the method is always the same:
Pour off some of the Vodka (down to the shoulder of the bottle should do)
Add your Skittles to the bottle.
Replace the cap and shake vigorously.
It takes several hours of intermittent shaking for the Skittles to completely dissolve (the process can be sped up by putting the bottle in a dishwasher during a wash cycle)
Once the Skittles have dissolved you should be left with colored Vodka and a layer of scum (or ming) will have formed. This ming must be removed.
Pour the Skittles Vodka through a sheet of kitchen paper or a coffee filter using a sieve. This will remove the ming and leave nothing but tasty Skittles flavored Vodka.
Chill till ice cold, serve, enjoy!
You can also make jolly ranchers vodka the same way, only difference is that you don’t have to filter it!

itspartyrehab:

Skittles Vodka.

Ingredients & Measurements:

  • 1 large bag of Skittles
  • 70 cl. cheapest vodka

Instructions:
When making Skittles Vodka you can choose to either use all five of the flavours or to buy several bags of Skittles and separate the flavours or even mix two or three of the flavours to create your own taste. Once you have chosen your flavours the method is always the same:

  1. Pour off some of the Vodka (down to the shoulder of the bottle should do)
  2. Add your Skittles to the bottle.
  3. Replace the cap and shake vigorously.
  4. It takes several hours of intermittent shaking for the Skittles to completely dissolve (the process can be sped up by putting the bottle in a dishwasher during a wash cycle)
  5. Once the Skittles have dissolved you should be left with colored Vodka and a layer of scum (or ming) will have formed. This ming must be removed.
  6. Pour the Skittles Vodka through a sheet of kitchen paper or a coffee filter using a sieve. This will remove the ming and leave nothing but tasty Skittles flavored Vodka.
  7. Chill till ice cold, serve, enjoy!

You can also make jolly ranchers vodka the same way, only difference is that you don’t have to filter it!

Let’s make Phoenix Wright the most reblogged picture on Tumblr.

mymompickedthisurl:

thewinchesterswagger:

image

HOW IS THIS THE FIRST TIME I’VE SEEN THIS IT’S ALMOST AT 10 MILLION WTF

thatfunnyblog:

willy wonka and I are one

ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.
THIS IS FUCKING IT.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED
THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 
BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.
NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 
WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials

xcuse yew

ka-kawgoodsir:

isolatedartisan:

italyans:

nasdaq:

#FridayFun time! Now here’s an innovation the world is ready for: The Cuddle Mattress, which introduces slats to the upper half of the bed, making it easier to slip your arm around your partner and still sleep in comfort. http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/08/27/216091675/weekly-innovation-a-mattress-that-makes-it-easier-to-cuddle

this is it.

THIS IS FUCKING IT.

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF ARMS FALLING ASLEEP AND ACHING NECKS WE’VE FINALLY ARRIVED

THERE IS NO MORE WORRYING NOW THAT WE HAVE THESE FOAM STRIPS TO SHOVE OUR GRUBBY LITTLE ARMS INTO. JUST THINK OF THE OPPORTUNITIES. MAYBE SOME KID CAN FILL A PLASTIC BAG WITH LUBE, TUCK IT BETWEEN THIS SHIT, AND JUST GO TO FUCKING TOWN ON THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART MATTRESS 

BUT THATS NOT ALL. DO YOUR FUCKING TOES GET COLD? SHOVE YOUR FEET IN THESE CUSHIONS AND SLEEP SOUNDLY KNOWING YOUR FOOT-NUBS ARE FREE OF THE COLD.

NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE CLOSER WHILE YOU SLEEP? TOSS IT IN THE CRACK. AFRAID TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE IN THEIR NURSERY? WEDGE IT INTO THE CRACK. JUST FUCKING DO IT. EVER TEMPTED TO SIP A BEVERAGE WITHOUT GETTING OUT OF BED? SHOVE A CUP AND THERE AND INSERT YOUR STRAW. PRESTO-CHANGO, MOTHERFUCKERS. 

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS. THIS BED CAN SOLVE ALL OF THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD. GO OUT THERE AND BUY YOUR CUDDLING, MASTURBATORY, CHILD-AND-DRINK-HOLDING, PHONE-STORING MATTRESS RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO GOD

Tumblr users should never make infomercials
xcuse yew

fannyann:

i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining 

17000dollarballpit:

I completely lost my sense of humor when I realized offensive things aren’t funny so now I just rely on heavy sarcasm and everyone thinks I’m a dick

SCREAMS OVER LAYTON VS LAWYERS

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT FROM A FUSION OF TWO GAMES

cwilock:

MK x AC part 2!! with a dash of zelda

Part 1 here!

ruineshumaines:

Liz Climo on Tumblr.

Previoulsy: 1 - 2

chocolatemew:

i-effed-it-all-up:

songs by florence and the machine make me feel like i need to run barefoot through a misty forest wearing a flower crown

and reveal my true demon form as i burn the forest and everything in it down

animmalcrossing:

things we NEED in the next animal crossing game:

  • more storage space
  • more pattern space
  • a choice where villagers put their houses
  • being able to talk to other players via the mic
  • allowing more than 3 people into your town at one time
  • being able to choose different skin colours 
  • different body types would be cool too
  • LESS SEA BASS
mesitka:

I liked Child of Light very, very much and I keep recommending it to everyone; it has beautiful visuals, beautiful music and adorable characters (especially Aurora and Óengus stole my heart). 
I only wish it was a bit longer, because I’d love to spend more time immersed in this game <3

mesitka:

I liked Child of Light very, very much and I keep recommending it to everyone; it has beautiful visuals, beautiful music and adorable characters (especially Aurora and Óengus stole my heart).

I only wish it was a bit longer, because I’d love to spend more time immersed in this game <3

m-arkiplier:

holy shit????